Give me back my routine …

I just can’t think of anyone who enjoys routine.  The monotony of everyday life gets to us, drags us down and we always seem to look for an opportunity to ‘get away from the routine’ and to ‘recharge our batteries’. 

I am no different.  In my life I have always wished that my life would be new and exciting each day and totally without routine.  I never ever thought I’d hear myself think – “GIVE ME BACK MY ROUTINE”.  I could have sworn that that would NEVER happen but the human mind is just so fickle and yes I am very human. 

My life is totally predictable – I wake up, pack lunch for my family, leave home at 7am, catch the same train (same compartment) every morning, start work at 8am, finish at 5pm, catch the same train (same compartment) in the evening, come back home, eat, clean up and sleep.  I wish my life away every week day as I count down to the weekend. 

As a singer of some merit, I got an offer to sing for a dance collaboration and the offer included the lure of travel to Malaysia, Singapore and India, I literally jumped at it without a second thought.  Bring it on I said!!  Life was going to be fun – at least for one month when I travelled.  I could not wait for the tour to start!

Sure enough the day arrived.  A group of 7 of us boarded our flights to KL.  The mood was really upbeat.  We giggled and chatted all the way to KL completely oblivious of the racket we were creating.  On arrival, we were taken to our hotel.  This was to be our home for the next 15 days.  The hotel couldn’t have been in a better location – right in the middle of all the action! 

It was nearly midnight but the night was still young.  We were so excited with our new neighbourhood that we decided to explore.  At least 50 massage parlours on both sides of the street within 50 metres of the hotel, masseurs and masseuses soliciting customers for a massage (with promises of ‘happy endings’ if customers so desired), nightlife that never seemed to stop, buskers performing at midnight, artists drawing portraits of tourists and a snake charmer offering tourists the opportunity to pose for pictures with his pets draped on their shoulders.  It was all so different and exciting!!  This is what I need I told myself – a break from routine.  Needless to say, I was very excited.  The next morning, I was very happy that I could sleep in.  I will recount our next 15 days day by day to take you through my fickle nature …

Day 2 – I woke up around 8.30am and ate breakfast.  Breakfast excited me as it was all you can eat breakfast and someone else made it for me.  The spread was amazing.  So I ate as much as I could.  I even jumped up and down for the food to settle so I could eat more.  I walked around the shops all day and partied with the rest of the group until 2am.  God this was the life.  This is what I’d missed … 

Day 3 – Ate breakfast, walked around the city exploring until noon.  Went to rehearsal at 1pm.  I didn’t get decent vegetarian food (it was hard coz the Malaysian definition of vegetarian and my definition of vegetarian were vastly different).  Getting food at regular times was hard, but who cared. Food really wasn’t that important.  I was having fun!  I really looked forward to our performance in a couple of days.  After rehearsal, I walked around the city again in wonder, walking into every shop, every alley – there was no fear of night.  It was a very happening and safe city! 

Day 4 – Woke up late, ate breakfast, walked around the city again.  Went to the hall to test sound and rehearse, came back, explored the city at night again and started a new activity – played cards until 3am.  I started whinging about not eating regularly and how that made me sick.  On tour, there was no pattern to eating – we ate when we could find time between rehearsals or when we found something interesting.  I started missing the routine of having breakfast at 7am, lunch at noon and dinner at 7pm. 

Days 5 to 9 – Breakfast became very hard to eat.  I wished I could just have my normal cereal and milk instead.  I went to the hall each day and performed, got great feedback, went to dinner, came back at midnight and out of force of habit went out exploring again but what I saw didn’t excite me as much.  It was beginning to look same old same old … Lack of sleep started to catch up with me and I was getting very cranky and irritable.  I also missed my family very much.  As I was feeling lonely, I played cards with the guys again until 3am.

Days 10 to15 – The monotony of the performances was really bothering me. It was a huge task to motivate myself to perform the same items with renewed energy.  I sulked and said – I can’t do this over and over again. The rest of my group said – “We know, we feel the same way.  Just 7 programmes to go acca”.  The lack of sleep was seriously bothering me. I was getting sick of living out of my suitcase and getting my laundry done was starting to become a bother.  I tried to start a routine within that existence but it was hard as I was at the mercy of my group of 7.  The very same breakfast that appealed to me 10 days ago was suddenly very greasy and yucky.  I craved simple food.  Lunch and dinner which didn’t seem to matter to me earlier on was becoming a big deal – how many days at end could I explain my ‘quirky’ vegetarianism to the predominantly carnivore Malaysians who just didn’t seem to get it!  I craved my routine diet of rice and yoghurt.  My wonder at the night life waned too – I saw the same worn out masseurs, the same artists, the same snake charmer, the same activity and I was increasingly irritable.  I was constantly on short fuse, reacted at the slightest provocation and did things uncharacteristic of me.  I actually yelled at a lot of people on tour which is surprising because at heart I am a pacifist who abhors confrontation.  The reason I figured was that I missed home.  I missed my family, my bed, my balcony, my garden, everything associated with my home really.  I was ready to come back home to my routine because this unpredictable lifestyle was getting to me.

Folks it took me exactly 10 days to do a complete about turn.  It is completely different matter that I did another about turn when I reached Chennai but then that is my home.  So while it was a break from routine, I was home and happy.  I had my own room, my own bed, a washing machine and good vegetarian food but even so, I think I would have wanted to get back to my routine after a couple of weeks!

I’d always envied the lifestyles of jet setting pop musicians and performers but this trip threw a new perspective.  Even though they probably had homes, a complete new wardrobe in every part of the world and food wouldn’t have been such an issue, I did feel for them.  Singing the same numbers over and over again and living their lives in the hope that critics would be kind to them and people would love them can’t be easy.  It would completely kill any joy in performing and seriously all the mass adoration cannot be worth the price they pay.

As I’ve just come back from this tour, my routine existence seems fantastic and I am thriving on it.  I’ve even watched two movies in less than 2 days but I am sure that in 3 months I’ll whinge and moan again.  Family beware!!  I will know in my heart though that the grass is always greener on the other side!

My Weight Woes …

“You could be so stunning if you lost some weight.”

“You haven’t changed that much – you’re just a lot heavier than you used to be.”  And behind my back -  “Oh God!  Did you look at her?  She’s HUGE !!”

“You only look nice now.  All the extra kilos suit you.” Smirk smirk ..

“Oh, is this your daughter?” – they’d ask about a woman just 10 years younger than me!!

For nearly 10 years, I heard endlessly about my obesity – the tone varied from honest pleas that I had to do something about my weight because they wanted to see my old beauty restored to subtle suggestions that I had to lose weight and of course snide comments on how I looked nice despite the weight.  They were never nasty to me because, to be quite honest, I terrorised them and they were never sure of what my reaction would be each time they uttered something! 

I never did anything about my weight because I was happy the way I was.  I didn’t feel the need to do anything to please anyone.  I was fine, I told myself - I can climb up 200 steps without panting!!  God what were these people on about??  The man whose opinion counted most was very sweet and supportive.  He indulged me constantly with – “there’s just more of you to love”.  Overall consensus was that I was an attractive chic. I lived blissfully happy with my weight and expanding waistline.  I ate anything I wanted to – nachos for lunch with extra cheese and sour cream and a baklava for afternoon tea was a routine I followed 3 days a week!!  Pastry and biscuits were my special weakness if I had to single out something.  Generally the truth of the matter was that I loved food.  I liked nothing more than sleeping after a heavy meal.  Hmm … heaven!! 

It was just one of those things that I set out to do without any serious goal as such.  So at 84 kilos I embarked on a routine.  To be quite honest, I made very few changes to my lifestyle – I started exercising for half an hour a day, cut down on fat, sugar and carbs.  Within 6 months I’d lost 7 kilos quite effortlessly.  I thought to myself – oh that wasn’t too hard, GREAT, I’ll just keep doing it!  I continued this ‘good’ behaviour and in one and a half years I’d lost 20 kilos.  I thought I looked fantastic but apparently I was wrong!!

“Your face looks so gaunt.”

“You look sick.  Is something wrong with your health?”  They even pulled aside my husband to express their concern …

“Can you please stop doing whatever you are doing and start eating normally?”

You can never win can you??  Despite the overall dismal picture there is hope ….

People ask me if my daughter is my sister and I fit into clothes from shops that cater to ‘smaller people’.  I don’t have to stress about finding fashionable jeans!!  You cannot imagine what a buzz that gives me.  In those dark days, I could only find grandma jeans to fit my rather huge frame and yes I do admit to my past obesity now even though I was in denial then!!

Thank God for small mercies ….

And no … I don’t intend to change my lifestyle to gain weight either!!

Kamal’s Dasavatharam

God, there’s been so much hooplah about the film.  It has been in production for heaven knows how long.  Arguably, this has been the most keenly awaited film this year and the level of anticipation has been huge!

At the outset, can i say that I just CANNOT imagine living in the limelight the way Kamalhassan does.  Everything the poor man does is glorified or criticised and be it glory or criticism, it is always extreme.  That would completely take normalcy out of anybody’s life.  I honestly don’t know how people in the public eye deal with this sort of pressure.  Maybe thats why they are so highly paid!!

Any objective movie buff will agree that the sort of talent and passion the man has is completely undeniable.  As an actor, he rocks!  Is there a role that he hasn’t played to perfection?  Why then does he feel the need to immortalise himself on celluloid by relying on make up more than his abundant talent?  Is it because when you reach the pinnacle, the level of expectation is so high that you feel pressured to deliver something out of the ordinary every time?  This I believe is what happened with Dasavatharam.

Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoyed the movie.  I think it was an entertaining movie, well worth the wait and Kamal is as brilliant as ever.  My personal favourites were the Patti and Naidu.  As the patti, his body language was amazing even though the mask left very little scope to emote with his face.  His portrayal as Naidu was completely without blemish.  Then where is the problem you ask … well, the problem is that the rest of the characters have such low relevance to the script that your average movie goer would definitely question the need for the rest of the characters.  Other than personal glorification I can’t think of any other reason that a seasoned artiste like Kamal would have attempted this movie.  It is sad that the lure of immortality has slightly negated the impact of a good movie!

I find myself thinking of his many classics like 16 Vayadinile, Raja Parvai, Pesum Padam, Nayakan, Mahanadhi, Devar Magan and Anbe Sivam .. just to name a few.  As a fan, each time I go to watch his movie, I expect it to be better than these classics and the last few times, I have been slightly disappointed.  Is there not a director out there who can feed Kamal’s insatiable apetite for acting?  Are we going to watch another Kamal classic ever again?  As a HUGE fan, I certainly hope his best is yet to come.

 

Indian Weddings – Lavish and Opulent

Weddings in India are becoming the biggest money spinners – seriously!  There is a rapidly growing number of wedding planners and caterers serving people from all stratas of society – from the almost vulgarly rich to the middle class.  Their service motto seems to be extremely simple – “Nothing is impossible and we are here to convert your plans into action.  If you can’t plan, thats not a problem.  We’ll do it for you as long as you can pay us.”

At a wedding I attended recently, I had the opportunity to chat with the marriage contractor about recent trends in Chennai.  I looked at him with complete and utter disbelief when he told me about recent weddings he had planned and some of the more ridiculous requests like wanting to have ’paruppu tengai koodu’ as tall as the bride – 5′5″ and carting it into the wedding in a ‘chariot’.  He concluded with – “Sometimes, we do things to humour parents but the sad part is, some of these weddings don’t even last two years.”

My mind goes back twenty years when all my older cousins got married .  Those were the days when marriages were a bit simpler.  Family members ran errands – each family member would take responsibility for  different things – the room keys, the provisions in the kitchen, the finances, presents and gift money, packing gift bags for all the guests (with special gifts for some close friends and relatives) and the children would help in any little way they could.  There was a sense of togetherness, a sense of purpose, a sense of excitement and everyone definitely felt involved and felt as though they were part of the event.

The trend these days is that everything gets done easily with minimum stress for parents and the family.  The wedding planners take all the stress out of the event.  Maybe the only stress they feel is financial stress! 

There are certainly no right or wrong ways to do things and the choice is totally subjective but the rational mind does question the need for such opulence.  I am certainly not being spoil sport by suggesting that we take all the joy out of the occasion but surely there is a via media?  Can the parents not put their money to better use – like helping the bride and the groom buy their own home?

Quite frivolously, I have been telling my children to introduce me to their prospective partners and then to elope!!  Jokes aside though, when faced with reality I doubt if I will cave in to pressure from the family … time will tell!!

 

 

Hello world!

Wow!  What a ‘HUGE’ moment this is.  I am really not sure what to expect but I do get the feeling that I am going to enjoy this.

There is a voice within every one of us that wants to be heard.  Hopefully this will be a medium in which I can voice my opinions to anyone who cares to listen and truly exercise my freedom of speech!!

I look forward to having fun and would like to thank anyone who bothers to read my ana’s worth (an ana for those of you who don’t know is a denomination of the Indian Currency – rupee, paisa and ana).  Ana’s are worth absolutely nothing and in my typical self effacing style, I’ve given minimal value to my thoughts or views!!  Rather my views in isolation amount to nothing is what I am trying to say I guess.

Well ciao for now.  Hopefully I will have the time to make this something worthwhile.

Ana