“You could be so stunning if you lost some weight.”
“You haven’t changed that much – you’re just a lot heavier than you used to be.” And behind my back – “Oh God! Did you look at her? She’s HUGE !!”
“You only look nice now. All the extra kilos suit you.” Smirk smirk ..
“Oh, is this your daughter?” – they’d ask about a woman just 10 years younger than me!!
For nearly 10 years, I heard endlessly about my obesity – the tone varied from honest pleas that I had to do something about my weight because they wanted to see my old beauty restored to subtle suggestions that I had to lose weight and of course snide comments on how I looked nice despite the weight. They were never nasty to me because, to be quite honest, I terrorised them and they were never sure of what my reaction would be each time they uttered something!
I never did anything about my weight because I was happy the way I was. I didn’t feel the need to do anything to please anyone. I was fine, I told myself – I can climb up 200 steps without panting!! God what were these people on about?? The man whose opinion counted most was very sweet and supportive. He indulged me constantly with – “there’s just more of you to love”. Overall consensus was that I was an attractive chic. I lived blissfully happy with my weight and expanding waistline. I ate anything I wanted to – nachos for lunch with extra cheese and sour cream and a baklava for afternoon tea was a routine I followed 3 days a week!! Pastry and biscuits were my special weakness if I had to single out something. Generally the truth of the matter was that I loved food. I liked nothing more than sleeping after a heavy meal. Hmm … heaven!!
It was just one of those things that I set out to do without any serious goal as such. So at 84 kilos I embarked on a routine. To be quite honest, I made very few changes to my lifestyle – I started exercising for half an hour a day, cut down on fat, sugar and carbs. Within 6 months I’d lost 7 kilos quite effortlessly. I thought to myself – oh that wasn’t too hard, GREAT, I’ll just keep doing it! I continued this ‘good’ behaviour and in one and a half years I’d lost 20 kilos. I thought I looked fantastic but apparently I was wrong!!
“Your face looks so gaunt.”
“You look sick. Is something wrong with your health?” They even pulled aside my husband to express their concern …
“Can you please stop doing whatever you are doing and start eating normally?”
You can never win can you?? Despite the overall dismal picture there is hope ….
People ask me if my daughter is my sister and I fit into clothes from shops that cater to ‘smaller people’. I don’t have to stress about finding fashionable jeans!! You cannot imagine what a buzz that gives me. In those dark days, I could only find grandma jeans to fit my rather huge frame and yes I do admit to my past obesity now even though I was in denial then!!
Thank God for small mercies ….
And no … I don’t intend to change my lifestyle to gain weight either!!