There is one theme in this world that appeals to everyone – the triumph of good over evil! I mean – how could you possibly justify watching 300 episodes of a goddamned depressing serial if not for the hope that evil will languish in the very last episode!!
It is very human, very Indian, very Hindu to believe that ‘good will prevail over evil’, ‘justice will be delivered’, ‘what goes around comes around’; “do your duty and God will take care of the rest”. I am no exception! I am a sucker for Bollywood type ‘happy endings’!
So every time I was confronted with a ‘not so happy’ event in my life I questioned – what did I do to deserve this? I have never hurt anyone or wished anyone any ill in my life. I have never bitched, gossiped or back stabbed anyone in my life. Envy, jealousy, greed are completely NOT in my psyche. I’ve always given more than I’ve received. (Guys, stick with me … I am not trying to make myself sound fantastic here .. for each of these redeeming qualities, trust me there are vices that I am guilty of). Why then was I faced with situations that I believed I shouldn’t have faced – betrayal of trust and lack of concern of those I believed were near and dear and total apathy at every corner save a few. I agonised over what I had ever done to deserve it. I accused people of not standing by me in my hour of need.
They say time is a healer. This was true for me – scars may remain but the wounds have healed. Buoyancy has been restored and life is on even keel once again. The same people who were the source of deep pain have ceased to evoke any emotion. The mind is blank and detatched. Life goes on. There are definite changes within me .. some good, and some not so good.
As I look at my life introspectively and ask ‘WHY’ again in a less emotional state more objective state, I get clues. We often believe that justice is delivered based on what we know. What about things we don’t know. For those of us who believe in reincarnation, we believe that we live many lives, learn many lessons, pay debts that we owe, receive what is due to us and so the cycle continues. Why then did I believe that I was an exception to this rule? Maybe I wronged these very souls in another life in another time … that is the only explanation I can possibly find to support the belief that ’justice is eventually delivered’. Maybe this is the due I had to pay in this life as repentance for past sins. Maybe in the balance sheet of my life; things have evened out a bit! I can only hypothesise … its not as if I have the answers. As always I live in the hope that I am right and look up at the sky for validation 🙂