FLIRTING – is an essential aspect of human interaction across all cultures and societies around the world. Social Issues Research Centre (SIRC) has carried out numerous studies on the subject. Quote SIRC – “According to some evolutionary psychologists, flirting may even be the foundation of civilisation as we know it today. They argue that the large human brain – our superior intelligence, complex language, everything that distinguishes us from animals – is the equivalent of the peacock’s tail: a courtship device evolved to attract and retain sexual partners. Our achievements in everything from art to rocket science may be merely a side-effect of the essential ability to charm.”
We’ve established how important flirting is to civilisation and achievement! The current code of flirting is highly ambiguous and abstract – it is governed by a complex set of unwritten laws of etiquette. We generally obey these unofficial laws instinctively, without being specifically told so. HUGE risk!! I really think we need to put some serious effort into putting together a set of laws for FLIRTING so we can be ethical in flirting! We’ve taken the spontaneity out of just about EVERYTHING – we are governed by codes or etiquette (either written or unwritten) that ‘social architect’s have created. Why exclude the fine art of flirting from this code?
Alright, now that we’ve justified the need to write a ‘Flirting – code of conduct’ here is what I believe the key topics should be. I’ve just written a couple of lines next to each to give an indication of how these topics could take shape. I request you guys to help me with this project – I really can’t do this on my own. I need help!!
“behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions: she began to tease him, flirting with other men in front of him”
“to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions; play at love; coquet.”
What are the acts that constitute flirting?
Gestures of the eye: making eye contact, batting eyelids, staring, winking
Touching: touching and general tactile behaviour, playing footsies , touching the hair, arm, kissing (including flying kisses), cuddling
Using technology: suggestive texting, emails
Other: smiling suggestively, making excuses to meet, singing love songs/poetry, acting coy, giggly, flicking hair, talking husky, talking in whispers, pouty looks, licking lips …
The list is ENDLESS!! Although I am a keen anthropologist (not to mention a flirt of some merit myself!!), I need serious help in completing this list!!
Why do people flirt?
Because it is one of the most natural thing to do … Single people flirt because they can and married people flirt because they can’t!! Other motivations are – it is fun, by definition it is not playful and not with any serious intent – so why not, sometimes the attention and the compliments are quite lifting!
What are the different motives for flirting?
Flirting for fun
Flirting with intent
Where can we flirt?
Parties, pubs, hotels, school and other places of learning, community college, public transport, work place (beware of those nasty anti harassment laws), sports events, any events really!!
Who can we flirt with?
Depends on your motive!!
How do different genders perceive flirtatious behaviour?
Female – I want to feel good, feel wanted.
Male – Opportunity for sex!!
What are the pros and cons of flirting?
Pros – Procreation, conducive to civilisation and achievement Cons – Sure as hell way to get into trouble, especially if you are female and flirting for fun! For males, the potential to be thought of as a sleaze bag particularly if the flirter is female who is flirting for fun!!
So, now for the Rules of flirting:
I GIVE UP!! Guys, as you probably have figured out by now, this is an extremely philosophical and thought provoking piece – NOT. Seriously, I was bored and this is what happens when I get bored. Please read, giggle if you must and argue with me.
CAUTION: Please do not try this at home and if you do try – please use extreme caution and follow all the written and unwritten rules!!