I am under a nasty spell …
- I am just not myself. I am totally dull, listless, bored and out of sorts.
- I cannot inspire myself and I refuse to even try. All I want to do is curl up into a little ball and sleep but I can’t … the brain is still ticking.
- I have a huge list of really good books to read but I just can’t be bothered.
- I have hundreds of DVD’s to watch but I can’t get myself to watch a thing.
- I think to myself – I think I should go out and pamper myself. That will make me feel better but lethargy gets in the way and the body refuses to budge.
- There are hundreds of things waiting to be done but I procrastinate deliberately and persist with this trance … almost as if I enjoy feeling this way.
The spell that has been cast over me is total – I am bored, uninspired, lethargic and apathetic. I walk around listlessly and refuse to do even the most routine things.
Around me, I hear people say:
- Whats wrong with her today?
- Its hormones!!
- Bloody PMS …
- She really must do something about this …
- Dude, don’t go close to her. She’ll chew your brain …
Their comments evoke NO response.
I tell myself that it’s all in the mind and it is within my control to restore buoyancy. I ignore the voice and say to the voice in response – ‘Shut your face Miss Know it All. I don’t want to hear you. If I want to mope, mope I WILL!!’
I mope around all day just existing. Sleep comes as a welcome relief … I sleep like a log.
The next day dawns and brings with it freshness and energy. I am myself again!
I reflect on the previous day – what was my problem? Why was I the way I was?
At this point my brain responds rather candidly – “No hard feelings love, but you are a pain! You have abused and tortured me systematically to the point that I’ve just HAD IT! This spell I cast on your periodically is my revenge!”
Is this what they mean when they say ‘Retribution is a bitch!!’?? 🙂 🙂 🙂